Saturday, August 6, 2016


Day 5 (August 5, 2016):

Good Morning Everyone,

Today is Saturday, August 6, 2016 but this is a Journal entry for Friday, August 5, 2016. 

Good Morning
As I’m sitting here outside my canvas tent drinking my first morning coffee I can say it was really nice to sleep in all cozy in my sleeping bag and “the sun was awake”…lol reminds me of nosisim (grandchild) Nova’s favorite movie, “Frozen” in that scene…”get up Anna, the moon is awake…I’m a awake…let’s go make a snowman” hahahaha…yes, the sun is awake, the birds are singing and that woodpecker is also pecking in the distance…it’s a perfect nature setting even complete with Sasquatch’s love interest in the tent snoring away…ahhhh the beauty of nature…it’s completeness. 

Other’s are still asleep but Tim just walked up to get his tools from one of the tents…so thankful him and his family are following their hearts and created this program with his mom…this is what happens when families join together for a common goal of helping others and doing it from their heart and soul. It was interesting yesterday when Shirley was sharing in group of how this program came about. She was sharing that after she worked years to heal herself and help others after becoming a Social Worker, she remained connected to support systems and it was one of those group support systems who helped fund this program…she said she was surprised, really didn’t know if they would but she took a risk and presented the proposal. I can tell you I am one who is grateful and I’m sure the ones participating are too. 

It’s a Pilot Project but already in these 5 days I am extremely grateful…it’s felt like I have been in a War Zone for a while and it’s on my own Ancestral Lands and battling an Indian Act Oppressive Genocidal System, that it not only, the non Indigenous oppressors of this system, at the helm, but they have also (some aware and many unaware they are reinforcing the system) recruited so so many of our Indigenous people to keep enforcing this genocidal system. It is pure GENOCIDE and I will not downgrade it or minimize it just because some feel it too harsh or too mean etc…

I say this, I will not minimize it, because it isn’t “Cultural Genocide~ IT'S STRAIGHT GENOCIDE…period ⚫️  

Indian Residential Schools was part of that genocide...

(Check out Tamara Starblanket's published dissertation, "Suffer the Little Children: Genocide, Indigenous Children, and the Canadian State") 

I say this because once you hear the stories of the people in my daily group circle…you will begin to understand the fight to exist they are enduring…persevering through…the battle they are surviving…

I feel it so much, especially at a nation/community level…it may sound cynical but our people are in a state of crisis, we do have high suicides, weekly funerals, highest rate of children in care, prostitution, rapes, violence etc…you name it and no age, gender, or person is exempt…we are all impacted…if we weren’t we would be Aliens…from some other planet just hovering above observing the self destruction happening…this is what some call “Successful Assimilation or Genocide” when the Oppressors can sit back and the ones oppressed, for generations, have completely internalized the oppression and do it to themselves and those around them…it’s a self defeating system.

Don’t get me wrong, yes, it sounds depressing and it definitely is… that’s my point. So many live in depression and feel helpless!

However, as I sit here on our lands, breathing the air, drinking the water, feeling all around me…I whole heartedly feel the hope, the love, the caring, the comforts of Creation…and I’m connected to it all…even after I got my coffee and smudged with the 4 medicines in the 4 directions... Fungas, Cedar, Sage, and Sweetgrass…I reconnected even more…to “that Sacred System” which will lift me, us… ~ the 4 Laws and Ways of Knowing Creator intended.

As I type this many tiny birds landed in front of me and said "hello" to remind me of how fragile we all are but YET we all have Wings to Fly...

we only need to use them and believe…believe in something, anything that will get you to where you need to be to move forward and get out of the trenches of the war zone…

so so grateful my nimosompan (my late grandfather) Joe Houle sang the Sundance Songs that night, so long ago, in the literal WWII Trenches in Italy in the 1940s when he felt and thought he was going to die…grateful the Elders taught him the songs…they told him to sing them if he feels he might not make it and our ceremonial songs will help lift his spirit.

This is the same blood that flows through me and so many others have the same type of blood…especially those whose families went through those war zoned Indian Residential Schools…

Yes, my spirit, mind, heart, and even my body are feeling those pains…yesterday, all day my body physically ached…but today I woke feeling replenished…the Lands just do that when you don’t even realize it...heal!

The morning group was heavy, I cried but my tears also had hope and joy too…not only pain…but grief and loss isn’t easy…it’s not a process so many of us learn…our ceremonies and teachings that used to guide us through are so fractured that our teachings are forgotten or replaced by silence, don’t feel, replace, don’t cry, stay busy, it will get better, it is what it is…and so many more crippling messages we get to NOT DEAL with Grief and Loss!

However, water is healing and as those tears fell from my face to the floor or my shirt…each tear drop was a healing and blessing…I was releasing…tears were made for a reason, I was told once…they have a purpose…

Later we did some Archery and man oh man I got some bad bruising on my forearm hahaha…I’m learning…but I can’t get over how good Sheri is…she is a natural and you can see her strength in that bow when you see that target fighting to stay up as it rocks…back and forth, back and forth…hahaha…yup…I will never starve with her around hahaha



Yup as we moved into the weekend, we had a delicious supper made with love by Tracey and settled down for a movie night…only thing we were missing was popcorn…guess what’s on my list when I head to town to do laundry and get supplies etc…POPCORN and Marshmallows too…this was also missing too when had an evening camp fire last night…

Well, all I gotta say is, I am praying this program continues…it is what the doctor ordered, hey Dr. James 🌾

I will not be posting for the weekend but I plan to find a river to jump into, go check out some mountains, and live life…not just survive it!

See you all back next week and please if anything, laugh from the heart, say “I love you” to at least someone this weekend…even if it’s you!


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